December 30th, 2005
I got a $50 gift certificate for the iTunes store for Christmas.
How shall I spend it? Besides the new Fiona Apple tracks?
December 15th, 2005
Somewhere it is spring.
I had a dream last night in which I had to make tea out of small bricks. The bricks were like tea bags, properly flavored, and I was worried that they would not dissolve properly. It turned out they didn't dissolve at all, but absorbed the boiling water instewad and became like sea sponges. This somehow made them alive, and someone said, well you can either have tea or pets.
August 28th, 2005
I will float up and down the air currents of California
The coast, here I come
my beloved grandfather will show me maps of Africa. He is a little bit like Ernst Hemingway.
April 3rd, 2005
Thine right eye so plitherates that thine left eye doth graze uopn it.
(courtesy of the Surrealist Compliment Generator)
Read "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire. Even if you don't normally like or read fantasy. I think everyone could find something completely different and compelling in it.
When I was reading it, I woke up each morning with my tongue coated in words that reconfigured my world in such twists adn at such angles, I marvelled that they were my own.
February 11th, 2005
answer the following by using only song titles from one band/artist
name of artist: ANI DIFRANCO
male or female? joyful girl
describe yourself: freakshow
how do people feel about you?: as is
how do you feel about yourself?: out of range
describe how do you want to be: to be free
describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: untouchable face
how did he/she make you feel?: asking too much
describe your current boyfriend/girlfriend: light of some kind
how does he/she make you feel?: sorry i am
describe how you live: garden of simple
describe how you love: cloud blood
words of wisdom: up up up up up
December 21st, 2004
It's chilly and cloudy today. The midwestern sky makes me think of a belly, pulled to the ground by gravity on days like this.
My Christmas shopping is done, I completed it in a run-through yesterday, then met G. by the little park down the block.
We went for coffee, to ___ ___. I think people look healthier in the winter, red and animated, and even if they are sniffling it is evident that life processes are happening, under the skin. I also read somewhere that people read more during the colder months than during the summer.
I gave G. the drawing she liked, with the airplane traffic. She asked me what it was called and I told her that I don't name pieces I give away to people. "That wasn't meant to sound weird," I added. Even though it probably did. She gave me a gift certificate to Barnes & Noble and a Joanna Newsom CD she burned for me.
"We sailed away on a winter's day
with fate as malleable as clay;
but ships are fallible, I say,
and the nautical, like all things, fades"
New friends are nerve-wrecking in new ways. You fall into patterns with people that are derived from the weather, when you are ritualistic, and when it thaws you either have to adjust the rituals, and that's like changing the clock for spring and then it's real. Or maybe that person works best in below-zero lighting, see you next December, we will share sercrets when snow falls, again. Somehow I have had so many seasonal friendships. I am so different socially during cold months, and it's not only seasonal depression. I am more open when it gets darker earlier.
September 22nd, 2004
|Your Hippie Chick Name is: Solstice|
(my sister's hippie chick name turned out to be Aurora. Isnt' that a real name?)
August 11th, 2004
As Margaret Atwood wrote, "This is before electricity, it is when there were porches." It is quiet here in this mind of mine and it's becoming less like a mine shaft every hour.
So much has happened, so much has
But I will just say it started and it ended, and that within it has always contained that which is unspoken but yet univerally understood.
And now I am here. And now it is quiet. And peaceful. I haven't felt peaceful in a very long time. But now it's as if I am resting on water, drifting.
I am even starting to feel alright with not feeling beautiful again.
May 30th, 2004
I went thrifstore shopping for the summer. Without planning on it I got clothes that are more feminine than my usual neutral androgenous style. I mean, that I don't cultuvate an androgenous style, like girls in wifebeaters do, I just think my small frame makes me more feminine than I would choose and I have always overcompenasted with clothing.
But if you looked through my bag you would see -gasp- a skirt. AND I've been growing my hair out. It's kind of like when my body knows what it needs to eat, I never think in terms of nutrition or diets, just an intuitive sense. I should eat meat. I shouldn't eat meat. Today I am lacking energy from sugar. Yesterday I did not have enough proteins. This month I need to accentuate my curves, frame my face. Something is going on with me. Perhaps in retrospect I'll know what that is.
At least my father will be pleased. I suppose.
May 8th, 2004
|03:56 am - This is hypothetical for right now|
Has anyone had experience with living in an art commune? It may be a possibiility for the summer. I can think of a lot of pros and cons immediately, but I have to admit that it sounds inticing. I have been stagnating a bit, or at least getting boggled down in the abtract part of the ideas, and putting off execution indefinitely, and while I am responsible for that, I think my friends, who are more thoughtful than viscerally creative may have something to do with that. Like I am on their channel. And maybe being around people who work on things before they can even verbalize them would get me back into stride of producing as much as I did before last year.